July 2010
20 posts
Mental Masturbation →
Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose.
We debated and created a perfect system of government, but it was all just mental masturbation, really.
How is Everything Check →
The 2 minute check a waiter/waitress does after they bring your meal to the table.
Person1:”We need a new fork. This one fell on the floor.” Person2:”I’ll ask the waiter to get a new one on…
strategic friendship default →
Occurs when the debt owed from a friendly bet between two friends rises to an uncomfortable level causing one friend to cut ties with the other in lieu of paying up.
Robbie: “Did Justin ever…
Reply-None →
The opposite of Reply-All, when an email-incompetent person sends you a blank reply to an email you sent them.
I really needed to hear from Felicia on this issue, but all I got was a…
Clutch Oven →
To fart in a car full of people, crank the heat for maximum effectiveness.
Mike was driving us to Jake’s party and he farted, trapping us in his clutch oven
sniff test →
To test if an item of already worn clothing is suitable to wear out. common amongst students who cant be bothered to do their washing.
Friend1:Hey man cant you just wear those boxers?
…
solitaire denial →
Flipping through the deck over and over while playing the card game Solitaire even though there are no more moves available, denying that you have lost even though you already know it.
Guy #1:…
Eau d'ouche →
The obnoxious, headache-inducing cologne cloud that surrounds a beefy, tight-Armani-shirt wearing dude.
Ugh. Some big meathead just walked by wearing way too much eau d’ouche. I feel like I’m…
Tim Time from Dover, DE →
Hey all yall Snapple fans. This be Tim Freidel from Dover, Delaware. I am 18 and have just graduated from Caesar Rodney High School, and this upcoming Fall semester I will be attending Virginia Tech….
Congreenient →
The practice of recycling, or being green, only when convenient. A person who only recycles when it is convenient to do so.
I would have recycled my Fiji water bottle, but my plastic bin was…
TV face →
A condition in which a person’s face becomes too relaxed from starting the same thing too long (watching TV). Symptoms are: open mouth, dropped jaw, eyes glazed over and occasional drooling.
…
a crapella →
Singing out loud while listening to music with your headphones on. Whereas the singer gets the benefit of the music, those unfortunate to be standing nearby are subjected to an unaccompanied (and…
fake bakery →
A tanning salon
Guy 1: nice tan brah where yah been? Been hittin the beach? Guy 2: nah aint got time just been hittin the Fake Bakery
Do not fear the peanut butter →
Here are your caps: #362 “Arachibutlphobia” is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
by Timothy Freidel from Dover, DE, USA 07/11/10
#384 Each year, the…
Cockblocked by Steve Jobs →
The act or reactive measure when the opposite sex makes eye-contact with you and then proceeds to plug in their iPod as a defense mechanism to prevent you from making a move on them.
Josh: I…
NYC Snapple Real Facts...yessss →
Hey tell all your friends to vote for their favorite of the newest Snapple flavors with this link: http://ht.ly/2d4Ld
Here are your caps: #209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061…
ex with benefits →
After a breakup of a couple, remain close friends, but still practice some form of physical closeness. Can occur any time after breakup.
John: “Mary, what are you and Joe doing under that…
double rainbow →
intense joy, coupled with extreme emotional shifts; an experience equal to an orgasm
OMG, it’s a full on complete double rainbow all the way across the sky!
Tab o' War →
The fight over the check at the dinner table over who will pay.
“You’re getting ridiculous, Debbie, I’m wanting to pay tonight.” “Just give her the damn check, Sabine, you two look like your…
SnapTop collection like mine? Love it →
I hope all of you enjoyed the last episode of “Best Stuff with Dave”. Now I here is a guy after my own heart, Tim has sent me pictures of his amazing personal collection of Snapple caps. Here is what…